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The Trump Handy Reference Guide

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So my cousin Ken Larsen assembled these nifty lists of Trumpisms.  They are the most complete cataloging that I’ve seen, and I wanted them out here for posterity (and possible last day conversation).  So without further ado…

Trump Says The Darndest Things

A summary of Trump quotes, some from tweets.

“People are saying Donald Trump is a genius.”

“I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good

brain and I’ve said a lot of things.” Also, Trump once said he would

“listen to his own, superior brain.”

“My father would always praise me. He always thought I was the

smartest person.”

“Despite having one of the all-time great memories I certainly do not

remember him.”

“(I have) the world’s greatest memory,” adding that this was “one thing

everybody agrees on.” Months later, he could not remember saying it.

“I have a lot of common sense and I have a lot of business ability.”

“I played football and baseball, sorry, but said to be the best bball

player in N.Y. State—ask coach Ted Dobias—said best he ever

coached.”

“I was always the best athlete…I was the best baseball player in New

York when I was young…The best, the best hitter…I was good in other

sports too. I was good in wresting, I was very good at football. I was

always the best at sports.”

“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”

“I’ve got to give (campaign donations) to them (politicians), because

when I want something, I get it.”

“I like people who don’t get captured.”

“I don’t have thin skin. I have very strong and very thick skin. I have a

strong temperament. It’s a very good temperament and it’s a very in-

control temperament.”

“I think I have the best temperament, or one of the best temperaments,

of anybody who has ever run for president.”

“It’s the single greatest asset I have, my temperament.”

“I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament. I have a

winning temperament. I know how to win.” He shouted this one.

“I’m also honored to have the greatest temperament that anybody has.”

“I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me.”

“Tens of thousands of people (refugees) have cell phones with ISIS

flags on them.”

“Bomb the shit out of ISIS.”

“I’ll destroy ISIS, believe me!”

“Tell the globalists to go fuh themselves.” (He sort of self-bleeped the

notorious f-word)

“I’d like to punch him in the face, believe me.”

“They’re (Mexicans) sending people that have a lot of problems, and

they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs.

They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good

people.”

“I am not a racist, in fact, I am the least racist person that you’ve ever

encountered.”

“Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive

impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying

Baltimore.”

“Sorry, losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest—and you all

know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

“All of the women on ‘The Apprentice’ flirted with me—consciously

or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

“Hunting animals is just like golf.”

“I’m looking to take the oil. I want to take the oil. I want the oil.”

“It is better to live one day as a lion, than 100 years as a sheep.” Yes, it

was Benito Mussolini, the Father of Fascism, who said it originally.

First Il Duce, then Il Douche.

“The only way we could lose, in my opinion, I really mean this,

Pennsylvania, is if cheating goes on. I really believe it.”

“I love the poorly educated.”

“Only a stupid person, a really stupid person, is paying a lot of taxes.”

“There’s no such thing as racism anymore. We’ve had a black president

so it’s not a question anymore.”

“If Hillary can’t satisfy her husband, what makes her think she can

satisfy America?”

“Let’s properly check goofy Elizabeth Warren’s records to see if she is

Native American. I say she’s a fraud!”

“You can’t be too greedy.” Also, “I’m very greedy.”

“People have birth certificates. He (Obama) doesn’t have a birth

certificate. He may have one but there’s something on that, maybe

religion, maybe it says he is a Muslim. I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t

want that.”

“An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that

Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud.”

“I have people that have been studying (Obama’s birth certificate, in

Hawaii) and they cannot believe what they’re finding.”

“Many people do not think it (Obama’s birth certificate) was authentic.

His mother was not in the hospital. There are many other things that

came out.”

“How amazing, the State Health Director who verified copies of

Obama’s ‘birth certificate’ died in plane crash today. All others lived.”

“Hillary Clinton and her campaign of 2008 started the birther

controversy. I finished it.

“I don’t respect most people, because I believe most people are not

worthy of respect.”

“I only acknowledge them (polls) when I’m winning.”

“If I told the real stories of my experiences with women, often

seemingly very happily married and important women, this book would

be a guaranteed best-seller.”

“Our African-American communities are absolutely in the worst shape

that they’ve ever been in before. Ever. Ever. Ever.”

“There is nothing like doing things with other people’s money.”

“If elected, Mr. Trump … would be the healthiest individual ever

elected to the Presidency…His health is excellent, especially his mental

health…his physical health and stamina are excellent.” Oh, I’m sorry,

that quote came not from Trump but from his gastroenterologist, Dr.

Bornstein.

“Actresses just call and see if they can go out with him and things.”

Another quote about Trump, by “John Miller.”

“Beautiful, important women call him all the time.” Another “John

Miller” quote, about his good friend Donald Trump.

“I mean he’s living with Marla and he’s got three other girlfriends...He

does things for himself. When he makes a decision, that will be a very

lucky woman.” Yet another quote by Trump publicist “John Miller.”

“I know words, I use the best words.”

“I like fast food, because at least I know what’s in them.”

“Everybody believes in the Geneva Convention until they start losing

and then it’s okay, let’s take out the bomb.”

“And I say this not in a braggadocious way—I’ve made billions and

billions of dollars.”

“The wall just got 10 feet taller, believe me.”

“Knock the crap out of him!”

“Our generals have just been reduced to rubble.”

“She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my

daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

“You know, I’m getting remarried, but Howard (Stern), vagina is

expensive.”

“I always wanted to get the Purple Heart.”

“Laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything

they can control.”

“I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks.”

“I have not a racist bone in my body.”

“The people asking the questions (reporters)—those are the racists.”

“I think I am actually humble, I think I’m much more humble than you

would understand.”

“We should just cancel the election and just give it to Trump, right.

What are we even having it for? What are we having it for? Her

policies are so bad.”

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody,

okay, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.”

“How stupid are the voters of Iowa?” Looks like all-white heavily-

evangelist Iowa will go to Trump.

“Even Bill chose other women.”

“I had some beautiful pictures taken in which I had a big smile on my

face. I looked happy, I looked content, I looked like a very nice person.

Which in theory I am.”

“Hillary got schlonged by Obama.”

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented,

are various other parts of my body.”

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that

I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”

“I cherish women. I love women.”

“Grab them by the pussy.”

“Number one, I have great respect for women.”

“No one has more respect for women than I do.”

“You have to treat them (women) like shit.”

“Hillary is a pathological liar.”

“Hillary is a thief and should be in jail.”

“You’re going to end up in World War Three over Syria if we listen to

Hillary Clinton.”

“Hillary has hatred in her heart, absolute hatred in her heart.”

“Honestly there have been many nights when he (Bill) has gone

through hell with Hillary”

“Here’s a woman (Hillary), she’s supposed to fight all of these

different things and she can’t make it 15 feet to her car. Give me a

break. Give me a break.”

“26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the military—only 238

convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men &

women together?”

“Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000

emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily

by our press.”

“From what I’ve heard (the people of Crimea) would rather be with

Russia than where they were.”

“Places like Afghanistan are safer than some of our inner cities.”

“If I win, I’m going to instruct my attorney general to get a special

prosecutor to look into your situation.”

“We’ve become a third world country.”

“If I was starting off today, I would love to be a well-educated black

because I really do believe they have the actual advantage today.”

“Some people would say I’m very, very, very intelligent.”

“If we have nuclear weapons, then why can’t we use them?”

“Sure, I might use nuclear weapons in Europe.”

“I will build a great wall—and nobody builds walls better than me,

believe me—and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a

great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay

for that wall. Mark my words.”

“We have some bad hombres here and we’re going to get them out.”

“I have studied the Iran nuclear deal in great detail, greater I would say

than anyone else. Believe me. Oh, believe me. And it’s a bad deal”

“I do regret calling her (Elizabeth Warren) Pocahontas because I think

it’s a tremendous insult to Pocahontas. So, to Pocahontas, I would like

to apologize to you.”

“She (Megyn Kelly) had blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming

out of her wherever.”

“While she (Bette Midler) is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse

to say that because I always insist on being politically correct.”

“A disgusting person inside and out (Rosanne Barr)” and “a slob with a

fat, ugly face.”

“Look at that face (Carly Fiorina). Would anybody vote for that?”

“As for Ron’s appearance (Ron Paul), there’s plenty of subject matter,

there.”

“I just don’t think she (Hillary) has a presidential look and you need a

presidential look. You have to get the job done. I think if she went to

Mexico she would have had a total failure. We had a big success.”

“He (Roger Ailes) is a very, very good person.”

“If he (Putin) says great things about me, I’ll say great things about

him.”

“Mr. Putin is a great leader….He has been a leader far more than our

president has been.”

“He (Obama) founded ISIS! He is the founder of ISIS! He founded it!”

“When I say Obama founded ISIS, I mean Obama founded ISIS.”

“Obviously I’m being sarcastic. Then, then—but not that sarcastic, to

be honest with you.”

“Melania is way smarter than Michelle Obama. She’s totally

intelligent. Anyone can go to law school but being a model takes a lot

of brains.”

“Condoleeza Rice, she’s a lovely woman, but I think she’s a bitch.”

“So while sometimes I can be too honest, Hillary Clinton is the exact

opposite: she never tells the truth.”

“I’m a truth-teller. All I do is tell the truth.”

“I call it extreme vetting. Extreme, extreme vetting!”

“Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of

Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives

can figure out what is going on.”

“I think Islam hates us.”

“I think I’ve made a lot of sacrifices.”

“In the good old days this doesn’t happen, because they used to treat

them (protestors) very, very rough.”

“If I lose, I’ll take a very, very nice vacation.”

“If I lose, it’s OK, I go back to a very good way of life.”

“If I lose, I don’t think you will ever see me again.”

“If I lose, I’ll let it all out.”

“If I don’t win, this will be the greatest waste of time, money and

energy in my lifetime, by a factor of 100.”

“This will be the last election if I don’t win.”

“This election is being rigged by the media pushing false and

unsubstantiated charges, and outright lies, in order to elect Crooked

Hillary!”

“I would like to promise and pledge to all of my voters and supporters

and to all of the people of the United States that I will totally accept the

results of this great and historic presidential election, if I win.”

“The greatest book ever written is the Bible! Nothing beats the Bible,

not even The Art of the Deal. Not even close.”

“The Art of the Deal is the second greatest (book) of all time, behind

the Bible.”

“In recent days, we’ve rolled out one new policy idea after

another…By contrast, Hillary Clinton is running a policy-free

campaign. She offers no ideas, no solutions.”

“I can be nastier than she ever can be.”

“Hillary Clinton gets a free pass from the Media.”

“Hillary is a thief and should be in jail.”

“Hillary is the Devil!”

“Hillary is a monster!”

“Hillary is a pathological liar.”

“She’s such a nasty woman.”

“She has a bad temperament…she could be crazy.”

“Hillary is a bigot.” Also, “Hillary is a race-baiting bigot.”

“The most corrupt human being ever. EVER!”

“Lock her up! Lock her up!”

“The election of Hillary Clinton will lead to the destruction of our

country.”

“Hillary is a great Secretary of State…She would make a great

president…I think she works really hard and does a good job.” He said

that, back in 2008.

“People want me to (run for president) all the time…I don’t like it. Can

you imagine how controversial I’d be? You think about (Bill Clinton)

and the women. How about me with the women? Can you imagine?”

He said that, back in 1999.

“I think her bodyguards should drop all weapons. Disarm immediately.

Take their guns away, let’s see what happens to her.”

“Here she is tonight in public, pretending not to hate Catholics.”

“She wants to let people just pour in. You could have 650 million

people pour in, and we do nothing about it. Think of it. That’s what

could happen. You triple the size of our country in one week.” 

“Hillary Clinton’s only loyalty is to her financial contributors and to

herself. I don’t even think she’s loyal to Bill, you wanna know the

truth. And really folks, really, why should she be, right? Why should

she be?”

“You know, I have a son named Barron. And I want to tell you, she

(Hillary) is a terrible example for my son and the children in this

country.”

“They (our generals, ordered to torture prisoners) won’t refuse. They’re

not going to refuse me. Believe me.”

“I’d bring back a hell of a lot worse than waterboarding.”

“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in

order to make US manufacturing non-competitive.”

“He referred to my hands as if, if they’re small, something else may be

small. I guarantee to you there’s no problem, I guarantee!”

“The new pope is a very humble man, very much like me, which

probably explains why I like him so much.”

“I’ll be the best constitutional president ever!”

“I am a friend of the working man, one of them.”

“I am the best candidate for women we’ve ever had.”

“I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.”

“I’ll be the best thing that ever happened to them (evangelists).”

“I’m the best on the military…because I’m the best on everything.”

“I like war.”

“I am your voice. I alone can fix it. I will restore law and order.”

“One thing I can promise you is this, I will always tell you the truth.”

“Being president is easy, and I’m, like, a really smart person.”


Need more?  There’s more, believe you me…

But its too long for DailyKos, so had to post it here: A History of Trump as a Jerk


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